I have my thoughts on raising children. I mainly keep them to myself or discuss them with my husband. I don't want to offend anyone as they have the right to raise their children as they see fit. That being said, I'm going to share a few things here. These are things that I want to remember not only down the road, but on days when I'm struggling with "Let me do it so it's faster" or "Let me do it so you don't make a mess" syndrome.
So here are my random thoughts on parenting.
**Disclaimer- I am not claiming to be a perfect parent. Some days I'm probably not even a good one. These are just some things that I feel are important for my kiddos and I want to write them down.***
1. Keep kids safe. Keep your stuff safe. If it is dangerous or you don't want them messing with it, don't put it where they can get it. If they do get it, it's your fault not theirs. Keep them out of truly dangerous situations, but don't be one of those who deems any situation not in the barricaded playroom at home a dangerous situation.
2. Let them be free!!! Once you've made things safe, let them have free roam of the room (or house in our case.) Once this winter when Connor had just started sitting up well, he played on the floor for two and a half hours. We were in the room, busy with our things, but he had a blast exploring his basket full of toys. Now it's nothing for him to crawl from room to room, following his brother and playing. Interaction is important, too. We read books and play with the boys, but I really think most parents don't let their children explore enough. Supervision is important, but be an observer, not the one directing the play. Trust me, you'll thank me for it when they are 2 or 3 and you can actually get a load of laundry done or do the dishes without a whining toddler following you around.
3. Expose them to things, and not just "kid" things. We take our children places. Places meant for children, and places not specifically meant for children. When I do have a whole day with the boys, I do not plan the entire day around them. Monday we took cans back. We spent a little time at the playground before we got cold. We went to lunch with Daddy. Then, we went to the grocery store. We take them to the golf course. We take them to football/basketball/baseball games. We've been to track meets, swim meets, cross country meets, and wrestling meets. We've done dance team night and dance recitals. We taken the boys to concerts at the greenspace (Preservation Plaza) in Okoboji. My point is, if you expose them to people, places, and events at an early age and on a regular basis, they know how to act and are freaked out by them as they grow up. Plus, they learn stuff. They ask questions. They observe. They, at times, amaze you. Sure, the park, zoo,library, pool, etc are awesome and they are things kids should experience, but the real world is not all parks and pools and zoos. I guess my point is this: sure, it is easier to get groceries alone, but you're kids will learn a lot, and sometimes it is more fun if you take them with you. Sometimes it is not. Enjoy the everyday life events with your child.
Expose them to things too, not just places. Kaden's been helping in the kitchen since he was about 19 months old. He helps do dishes, is really good at stirring, and flips a mean pancake. We've done it together, taught him the right and safe way, and he's probably the best 4 year old chef I've ever met. He also helps clean the garage and work in the yard. His attention span isn't great, but he does help occasionally. He has put the silverware away out of the dishwasher since age 2. He loves to clean the mirrors in the bathroom. It's starting to sound like slave labor, but it's not. It's involving your children in everyday life. It takes longer, and sometimes I have to redo it. I'm ok with that.
4. Be Flexible. Schedules are great, but life doesn't always go as scheduled. Be flexible and don't let a change of plans ruin your day. The boys have schedules are day care/ school, but we don't always follow them at home. We try to follow the general idea (a nap for Connor SOMETIME in the afternoon), but we also live our lives. The bonus to being flexible is that you raise flexible children. They go with the flow.
5. Reason with your children. Sounds impossible, right? Most of the time it is, especially in the moment. However, we have made a point to explain to Kaden why we say no to things, why we tell him to stop doing something. Usually this comes after the tantrum, after me screaming and yelling, after Daddy making his point, and after cooling off in time out. But IT HAPPENS, and we don't have repeat problems on the stuff that he can actually understand why we told him no. I also see him apply these reasoning to other things. For example, if we say no because he could get hurt, he'll point out other things he could get hurt doing.
6. Pick your battles. If no one is going to get hurt or seriously ridiculed for doing it, let it go. Don't fight about everything. This is the strategy I use most of all. It's more dishes for me to do, but no one will get injured if the kid has to have separate spoons for his applesauce and cottage cheese. He may look like a dork and I'll have to take 30 more seconds to put it down when we get in the car, but let him use the stupid Lightning McQueen umbrella he loves so much. Argue about the big stuff, like telling me no and refusing to pick up. Welcome to my daily life :)
So there are some things I am thinking about now. Feel free to disagree with me, that's your right. This is what I believe in. I guess we'll know in 20 years if it's worth a crap or not :)
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